Lion-Hearted Girl

February Posting Project: Sad/Good Times

2019-02-12T05:39:10Z

Posting every day isn’t working out, but that’s ok. I guess I will just amend my goal to posting consistently throughout the month, as I can.

We are in Atlanta for the week, missing the “Snowpocalypse” that is currently hitting Seattle. We’re here visiting a close friend who is very ill with cancer. Considering that, it’s not surprising that posting fell by the wayside. It takes a lot out of you emotionally to be with a dear one who is dying, even though it is good to spend this time together. I find myself getting very tired, and it’s not like we’re doing much of anything other than sitting around and talking. We really love this friend and though I know it’s coming, I try not to think too much about the future. We’ll cross that bridge when we come to it. For now, I’m just focused on enjoying the time we have to be together.

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February Posting Project - Day 3: Teal Deer RL Update

2019-02-07T05:50:50Z

It would appear that the last time I posted a sort of general update about what was going on in my life was in October of 2015. I had recently quit my job and moved to California to live with my dad and take care of him. He was 92 at the time and had dementia, and had reached the point where he could no longer take care of himself, drive, or manage his finances. If we’re friends on FB you know the rest of that story, but I’ll do a quick synopsis here anyway.

( The saga of my past 3 years )

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February Posting Project - Day 5: This 'n That

2019-02-06T08:10:48Z

I missed posting yesterday. I had terrible insomnia the night before and only got a couple of hours of sleep, which made me a space head all day and then I hit the wall early in the evening and basically forgot all about posting. I so envy people who fall asleep easily and sleep well. I have struggled with insomnia all my life, and though it is much better now than it used to be, every once in a while I still have trouble falling asleep or have a sleepless night. These days I try to stay away from Ambien and stick to cannabis for a sleep aid, but sometimes, like the other night, nothing seems to help.

It snowed yesterday and has remained cold so the snow has turned to ice. Sidewalks are treacherous because so many people here don't shovel the snow in front of their houses, and roads are icy because we don't plow enough or put down sand or salt. Seattle is lovely in the snow, but we are shit at actually dealing with it. Two inches of snow means closed schools, missed work days and snarled traffic.

But I have not needed to drive or work, so other than being cold in our drafty old house, it hasn't inconvenienced me.

ETA: In looking back, it strikes me that I haven't posted a RL update in a loooong time. I'll try to remedy that tomorrow. A LOT has changed.

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February Posting Project - Day 3: Tidying Up

2019-02-04T02:37:25Z

Today I cleaned out the “fandom drawer” in my desk. This particular drawer hasn’t been opened in, uh... years now. It’s where I stored all the magazine pages I’d ripped out that featured photos of whoever I was obsessing over, plus images to spark ideas for writing, con souvenirs, & etc. I’d hung on to this stuff for YEARS - some of it from back in the early LOST days. There was a two-fold attachment - firstly was the nostalgic feeling associated with the affection I had at one time for the show or movie/actors/characters. Then there was a secondary layer of nostalgia for all the time I’d spent gazing at these images (since most of them spent time displayed on the magnet board above the desk in my office), using them as inspiration for fic, lusting over them, squeeing over them with friends. So even though most of what was stuffed in that drawer was just pages from magazines, I hadn’t been ready to let go of it.

But today I did. A la Marie Kondo I thanked these items for all that they had given me and I let them go.

( A few pages from my fandom drawer )

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February Posting Project - Day 2: Live Theater is the Best

2019-02-03T07:27:02Z

Tonight Mr. Z and I saw the most extraordinary play. It was a production of Uncle Vanya by a theater company here in Seattle that does only Chekhov plays. They are different from other theater companies in that they actually spend about two years developing a production, delving very deeply into each work. And all that effort truly pays off, as proven tonight, resulting in an incredibly layered, complex and innovative performance. As I said to Mr. Z afterward - I always enjoy seeing live theater, and I almost always get something meaningful out of a performance, but it is experiences like tonight's that I live for as a theater-goer. It's almost transcendent, to witness the magic of a play where everything comes together so flawlessly, and the performers fully inhabit the roles and the work itself is so beautiful and everything else - the lighting and music and sets - are precisely calibrated to add seamlessly to the whole. I couldn't even speak when the play ended - not only was I on the verge of tears, but I felt like I hadn't taken a breath for the entire act and had to just sit and breathe for a moment before I could even think of getting out of my seat. What an incredible experience! I feel very grateful for it.

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February Posting Project - Day 1

2019-02-02T02:29:59Z

Greetings, dear ones.

I am embarking on a project of posting something - anything! - once a day throughout the month of February. I have no doubt that this will be a challenge for me as I haven't posted anything anywhere in a very long time. And I have no idea what I will post about! I will have to wing it mostly, BUT I would love prompts and suggestions if anyone would care to leave any. It would be great to have some direction for at least a topic or two. But if that doesn't pan out I will muddle along as best I can. My plan is to include weekly photos and ficlets too. Yikes! Challenging, like I said.

So, onward we go...

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Bid on Me in the Fandom Trumps Hate Auction

2017-01-19T06:32:07Z

You can make me write what you want me to write by winning my Fandom Trumps Hate auction! I’m offering 1000 words per $10 and the current bid is $40.

The list of charities you can support through this auction is amazing and I am looking forward to writing to support any of the very worthy causes that my winning bidder chooses.

To sweeten the pot: for a bid of $75 - $95 I’ll include an additional 500-word timestamp to any of my fics and for a bid of $100+ a 1000-word timestamp!

Auctions close at the end of the day on Thursday, January 19th, EST at midnight, so you only have 24 hours left to bid!

Fight the dominant hegemony! Resist extremism and hate! Support love, inclusivity and creativity! Bid! Bid! Bid!

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Imzy

2016-09-03T21:16:55Z

I'm ZeldaZee on Imzy, at least for now and I'd like to connect, if you've joined it, so either find me there or let me know how to find you. I haven't really figured that site out yet, but am hoping it's a better fit for me than Tumblr has been. That sets a pretty low bar, so I'm optimistic.

I thought about changing my name, which I've never done, but decided to just keep it so people know who I am when they find me. (When people change their LJ/DW name I have a hard time keeping track of who they are.)

ETA: I now have 5 invites for Imzy, so let me know if you want one.

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A Thing I Wrote & Requesting Prompts

2016-06-02T07:59:12Z

Oy, the past week or so has been pretty rough in my part of fandom. Disheartening, disappointing, disgusting. I had planned to see Civil War again, but I haven't had the heart for it. I'm not boycotting the MCU, I just couldn't partake of anything from Marvel in the immediate aftermath. I don't even want to talk about it, really.

I've been hiding from it all by reading fic and trolling tumblr, but I decided I need to get my act together and start writing again. So I did it! I wrote a thing! It's a little thing, but still, it's something.

I just kept coming back to the plums... I actually think the plums are maybe my favorite thing about Civil War. So here it is: Plums.

I thought maybe I would try asking for prompts? IDK, do people still do that here? Well, I will try, and see if anyone has anything for me. I would love Bucky gen, Stucky, or other Avengers prompts, if you're of a mind to help me jump start my muse. Obviously, I'm Bucky-obsessed, but I'm open to any character or pairing.

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Not my Civil War Review

2016-05-13T22:24:09Z

I have a long-ass Civil War review written but decided not to post it yet because I need to see the movie again before I actually know what I think about it. That's how I am. I could never be a movie critic - I need time to digest and at least a second viewing before I have an actual opinion. Because right after I watch anything I tend to love it unless it's something that just completely left me cold (hullo Deadpool). And because I didn't 100% love Civil War after first viewing, I do want to see it again before holding forth.

Also, I was so busy being relieved that my big fear wasn't happening/overwhelmed by OTT stunts/effects/explosions/BUCKY BARNES that I couldn't focus very well.

So I will have a Civil War review sometime long after anyone is interested in such things.

I wanted to rec The Rec Center, which is a multi-fandom weekly email newsletter. It is really diverse and fun and I've found lots of great stuff because of it. They rec all types of fanworks from a wide variety of fandoms. You can subscribe here.

Also want to rec Overinvested, a weekly fannish podcast. One of the Rec Center mods also does the podcast. There have only been 7 episodes and I haven't listened to all of them, but so far I'm liking it. Note that the podcasts include both criticism and squee so if you prefer to avoid anything that is not completely positive in your fandom experience this podcast probably isn't for you. I listen on Soundcloud, but I'm sure it's available wherever else people find podcasts, IDK where that would be, this is the first one I've listened to sort of regularly.

After my big, grumpy Tumblr rant on my last post I figure it's only fair that I should admit that there is one thing I really like about Tumblr, and that's fucking around with my theme. I love the one I have now because it is basically a shrine to Bucky Barnes so it's super pretty.For a person with zero graphics skills, it's fun to actually be able to create something that looks halfway decent.

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Civil War Angsting

2016-05-05T04:02:53Z

I’ve been meaning to post about stuff, but haven’t. Mostly I’ve wanted to post about Civil War and my extreme anxiety related to it. I have gone from being excited about it, to being worried about it but still wanting to see it, to now just dreading it and thinking maybe I don’t even want to see it at all. (Though I will, of course.)

( Irrational Angsting Over a Stupid Movie )

OT, I hate Tumblr so much. I really, really do. Do people actually find it a satisfactory platform for fandom? Hard to believe. It is so fucking repetitive and boring. Why would I want to see the same photo or gifset or whatever 20 times in a day? Why is that desirable or interesting? Clearly, kids today are looking for something different in fandom than I am. Do I sound old & cranky? That's okay, I am old & cranky! I tried to adapt, but I've mostly given up on Tumblr, and am back to just checking in rather cursorily every week or so. I keep forgetting to check it, which shows exactly how engaged I am.

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Hello? Who am I? What day is it?

2016-03-24T02:48:44Z

So, pneumonia. Not fun. My advice: avoid it if you can.

I am just emerging from four+ weeks(!) of illness that started out with a horrid virus and turned into the aforementioned pneumonia. I have never in my life been so sick. In addition to truly terrifying coughing fits I was getting daily migraines from the coughing - thank god for my meds - and I pulled muscles and threw my back out from it too. I was a fucking mess, and probably still would be but for antibiotics. Now I am just really tired and occasionally coughing gunk up from the bottom of my lungs, which is a huge improvement. Today I manged to go to work for 2 whole hours, and walk the dog, AND make dinner. I feel such a sense of accomplishment.

Somehow I managed to still sorta keep looking after my dad (and my dog) on a very minimal level throughout all that.

I had to cancel a trip to Seattle and I missed SeaCon, which sucks as I had tickets which went to waste and I was really looking forward to it. But as sick as I was, I couldn't really regret not being there.

You know, shit happens in life. No use crying over it.

In the midst of pneumonia, my Ante Up Losers fic was due. HAHAHA yikes. I posted something fic-like, but was too sick to edit or proof it and now I'm too scared to read it through and fix stuff cuz I think it might be completely incoherent. Which, I should fix it, but it might not be fixable. Also, I'm so tired.

Fandom-wise, once I was able to read (being too sick to read sucks) I've been on a huge Stucky fic binge. It is my very favorite thing to read these days, especially long Bucky recovery fics, OMG nothing makes me a happier camper than that. Bucky Barnes, man. Bucky. Barnes.

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All-Knowing Flist, I Need Your Music Recs!

2016-03-06T06:37:50Z

I am compiling a Shipping playlist to listen to when writing and I need song/artist/album recs. What do you listen to when you want to be inspired to reach for those most difficult to attain but highly satisfying emotional moments? What music inspires you when you're writing the fic where your OTP breaks through all the obstacles that have kept them apart and finally drown in each others arms? What do you have playing in the background when you're going for the perfect mix of porn and emotion? Because that is what I need to be listening to!

My tastes in music are eclectic, so I am open to giving anything a try.

As a thank you, I'll post the playlist when it's complete. :)

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zelda_zee @ 2016-03-03T14:42:00

2016-03-03T23:08:30Z

Well, whatever the glitch was that was preventing me from seeing comments to my posts on LJ it appears to have fixed itself. How I wish the same sort of thing would happen when something goes wrong with my car.

I am on deadline for ante_up_losers and so have been doggedly writing away, trying to wrap up my story which has enough plot to make it tricky and two sex scenes, one a threesome. So it is slow going. I am absolutely determined to get it done though, because I'll be damned if I'm going to default on another challenge. I am sick of that particular habit of mine and am committed to breaking it. 15k+ words and still not done, but I will persevere!

Meanwhile, every spare moment and thought is eaten up with my shiny new fandom that I am loving with the power of 1000 suns: Black Sails! Gay pirates FTW!! \o/ It is making me giddy and flaily and keeping me from thinking too much about anything else. I have am desperately, madly in love with this show and its amazing characters. I have not experienced this level of fannish glee since... lordy, it's been a long time. Probably since early SPN or LOST. I love ALL THE PAIRINGS and want to write them in various combinations. And many of them are canon or could be, because so many characters on the show are gay or bi. So shipping is extra-fun because you never know, it COULD happen! Although anyone who's known me a long time certainly knows that I have never been one to let canon or plausibility stop me from shipping something!

I am lucky too, because ellel is ~~guiding~~ ~~encouraging~~ enabling me and making sure I know what's what, fandomwise. The fandom is of course on Tumblr, and I am so out of my depth with that platform, which I will always find unsatisfying. However, it is what it is and so I must change with the times.

Being forced to adapt to new ways of fandom makes me feel old! (Which I actually am, so that's only fitting.) Anyway, if you anyone out there is into Black Sails and I don't know about it, please let me know so we can share the fandom love!

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Fandom - This is How You Do It

2016-02-21T21:57:23Z

I've had such an unexpectedly lovely response to my Black Sails fic that it inspired me to write more! And I have a part 2 almost done! There did need to be a part 2, I just wasn't so sure of a response, new fandom and all. But I feel very positive about this fandom if people are so nice and welcoming to unfamiliar writers. Black Sails fandom, you get a bar of Urca gold for doing it right!

Note to self: this illustrates how key it is to comment & kudo fic if you want people to write more of it.

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Black Sails Fic

2016-02-21T09:17:52Z

Wow. I haven't dashed out a post-ep fic in ages! And that was most definitely not what I should have been writing tonight, but, well, the heart wants what it wants.

For anyone for whom Silverflint is of interest:

Force of Nature
A Black Sails post-ep 3.5 ficlet, PG-13

I expect there will be more soon. ;)

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It's About Time!

2016-02-19T05:37:42Z

I am fully up to date on Black Sails at last! I binge-watched S2 and what has aired of S3, and though S1 was great & all, S2 really kicked it in the ass.

Honestly, I knew I'd fall down the rabbit hole with this one. Pirates, bisexuality... Well, actually, all I need say is "pirates, bisexuality". I was going to list the other things about the show that pertain to my interests, but no need really.

How is it that this show is so marvelously inclusive? How did it even happen? I love it, because anyone can be anything. Like, on other shows, the default is hetero, right? On Black Sails, the default is… bisexual/queer/polyamorous, or okay, you can be straight I guess, if you insist. For now.

( Some spoilery stuff )

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Stuff I've Been Watching/Stuff I've Been Writing

2016-02-04T00:14:53Z

I am certainly off to an underwhelming start in my effort to post more. In my defense, RL has been kicking my butt recently. For those of you who don't know, I care for my father who is 93 and has dementia, and life with him is unpredictable; how any given day will go is a complete crapshoot. On rough days, by the time he goes to bed I am all played out and we have been going through a rough patch lately. But, today was relatively uneventful - I got to take a shower this morning, even! \o/

I've been meaning to post about shows, but I fear I have nothing profound to say about anything I've been watching.

I got Amazon Prime a while back, because between the limited free time looking after my dad leaves me and living out in the country I find that I mail order practically everything these days. After years of staunchly avoiding Amazon whenever possible I now am ordering stuff from them nearly every week. So, Prime is a godsend. And they have good shows and music, so that is a bonus. I watched Transparent, Mozart in the Jungle and Mad Dogs. I really liked all of them, but Mad Dogs was my favorite.

( Spoiler-free Mad Dogs talk )

Transparent and Mozart in the Jungle are really good too. I like the crazy family dynamics in the first, and Gael Garcia Bernal is excellent in the second.

( Outlander, warning for talk of rape )

( X-Files )

( Supernatural )

My writing projects status:

1. My Ante Up Losers fic is coming along well. I’m really having fun with it and have a clear plan for what’s going to happen, so I’m optimistic that I’ll be on track with this one.

2. Part 3 of my Musketeers series, Sacrament, is started, but I decided to put it aside for now because I don’t want to get behind on my Ante Up fic and risk defaulting. In this part it goes slashy and possibly porny, which I’m looking forward to when I do get back to it.

3. SPN J2 Big Bang fic, no clue yet. I haven’t got a story figured out. I usually like to write from current canon, but I know if I do I’ll just get Kripked. I’m thinking maybe an AU, but it’s all been done SO MANY TIMES. Well, we shall see. Worst case scenario, I just drop out. Again.

4. Jensen/JDM con reunion fic – still nearly finished and still on hold.

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Musketeers Fic: Confession

2016-01-21T07:43:29Z

Title: Confession
Fandom: The Musketeers
Rating: Teen (gen)
Word Count: 6,586
Summary: Returned to the world and all its sins and temptations, Aramis seeks a way to keep history from repeating itself. One thing he knows with utter certainty: he will not again be the cause of such wholesale misery, regardless of the cost to himself. (Post-S2)
A/N: Part 2/3. Part 1: Penance.

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I don't wike it

2016-01-18T01:00:38Z

Seahawks season is over. I am sad and not feeling like being a good sport, like all the other 12s seem to be making an effort to be on those other social media platforms. I wanted to win, dammit! I wanted another Superbowl.

But, lest I forget Life Rule #1: we don't always get what we want.

However, I did get these:

My new Supernatural sneakers - Sam, Dean and a gun. ♥

( Non-spoilery comment on Colony )

Did anyone else watch it? And if you did, what did you think?

Interesting fact learned today doing research for fic: In pre-Revolutionary France there was no standard unit of measure. In fact, according to Wikipedia, at the time of the Revolution it’s estimated that there were a quarter of a million(!) different units of measure in use in France.

How on earth could they have functioned? How did anything get done, or built, or traded? It must have been utter chaos.

And of more immediate importance to me, how am I going to say what I want to say in my fic without being able to refer to a unit of measure of some sort?

I know, let's play fill in the blank! I was thinking the hair in question would be about an inch in length.

"His hair, though. He reached up, fingering its shortened length, probably no longer than a ___________."

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Fandom Snowflake Challenge: Day Twelve, Fourteen & Fifteen

2016-01-16T03:56:08Z

Catching up!

Day Twelve

What makes you fannish? And by that we mean, what is it about a tv show/movie/book/band/podcast/etc that takes you from, "Yeah, I like that," to "I need MOAR!!!" Is it a character? A plotline? The pretty? Subtext that’s just screaming to be acknowledged? In your own space, tell us what it is that gets you to cross that line into fandom.

The perfect fannish storm for me, that will sweep me up in all-consuming fandom love is canon with subtext + characters whose heads I want to crawl into + two (or more) really hot guys + canon that leaves room for slash, and if a TV show or movie I also want decent writing. I can play around in fandoms where one or more of those elements is missing, read some fic, maybe even write one, but to hold my interest long-term, all of the above must be present.

Day Fourteen

In your own space, share your love for something fannish: a trope, cliché, kink, motif, theme, format, or fandom. Is fanart about the Avengers being fluffy and domestic your jam? Are tentacle fics your thing? How about podfics that have characters talking dirty? Is your Pinterest filled with images of knitted fanart? Make a post about it! Squee to your heart's content, tell us why you love it, gives us some examples.

I have a serious virginity kink. I don’t know why because in real life I don’t care about virginity in the least, but in fic, if a guy is a virgin… GUH. I like first times in general, so I guess it’s just an extension of that. In a narrative, virginity can actually have meaning which I don’t feel it does in reality. But in fic it’s about trust and letting go and self-discovery and being known for the first time – and not just in the Biblical sense. If a writer can convey some of those themes in a sex scene where one partner is a virgin… well, let’s just say… I’ll be in my bunk.

And I'll rec the awesome fic which revealed this particular kink to me: Truth Is A Whisper by seperis, Merlin/Arthur, explicit.

Day Fifteen

In your own space, talk about what you're taking away from this challenge. Did you learn something? Did you interact with new people? Or did you try out different fandoms or formats or relationships? What's changed between Day 1 and Day 15 of this challenge?

I got a lot out of this, my first Fandom Snowflake Challenge! I’m excited to have met some new interesting people (hello, new friends!) who I am looking forward to getting to know better. I got revved up about fandom again and decided to make a real effort to reconnect, both with online fandom and with my fannish side of myself, which I’ve largely neglected of late.

I'm also psyched about all the great recs, both for resources and for fic. I bookmarked a ton, and have only scratched the surface of the fic recs.

The “create your own challenge” day was my favorite. Not only did I have fun with my own challenge, but I adopted a lot of other participants’ challenges:

~ Set a fandom goal and make new fandom friends (done)
~ Take part in a challenge (signed up for two, one of which I found thanks to the Snowflake Challenge)
~ Post a Transformative Works Statement (done)
~ Rec more (will do)
~ Comment more (ditto)
~ Post fannishly on DW/LJ once a week (starting once Snowflake is over)
~ Do a fannish craft project (got one in mind)
~ Treat yourself to something nice every day (this is harder than you might think)

In short, I had an excellent & highly productive challenge, even if I couldn't quite manage to keep up with the pace.

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Fandom Snowflake Challenge: Day Thirteen

2016-01-15T08:29:09Z

In your own space, post a rec for at least three fanworks that you did not create.

I’m reccing a few fics from this past Yuletide that I liked.

Luther: to have and to hold by millepertuis, John Luther/Alice Morgan, gen

Dirty cops in Philadelphia. A couple of serial killers in Port-au-Prince. Dog-fighting ring in Peru. They play chess and they eat fugu; when he has nightmares she tells him about black holes and stardust and supernovas until he falls back asleep. They get through the Ps.

With a beautifully realized Luther/Alice dynamic, the characterization in this is just so good. This fic is my headcanon for them from here on out.

Vikings: Heima by movies_michelle, Ragnar/Athelstan, mature

Athelstan has returned to Kattegat from the court of King Ecbert. Ragnar has some questions for him.

This is the fic written for me for Yuletide, and I just adore it. The relationship between Ragnar and Athelstan is perfect, and I especially like how easy it is to hear Ragnar’s voice in this.

Objects That Exist by frangipani_flowers, gen

One last letter.

A really obscure fandom, so this fic could use some love. I thought that the writer captured Alex’s very distinctive use of language very well. If you know the book, please give this little fic a look.

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Fandom Snowflake Challenge: Days 10 & 11

2016-01-12T23:31:03Z

Day 10: In your own space, post a rec for fannish and/or creative resources and spaces. Tell us where you go to dig up canon facts for your fandom, or where you get all the juicy details about your favorite ship. Where do you like to hang out and squee like a squeeing thing?

I really don’t have resources any more. My go-tos are Google and my flist (who collectively know everything worth knowing).

Aaand, I have not been sharing my squee lately, beyond reblogging stuff on Tumblr, but I’m resolved to bringing the squee back to my DW/LJ spaces in the coming year.

Day 11: In your own space, make a list of at least 3 things that you like about yourself.

1. I like that I am comfortable with myself and who I am and have stopped trying to live up to external expectations of the type of person I should be.
2. I like that I am empathetic. It’s informed many aspects of my life, from my political beliefs to my career choice to my decision to care for my dad.
3. I like that I am trustworthy. If I promise to do something, I’ll do it, and if you swear me to secrecy about something I will really never tell a soul.

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Fandom Snowflake Challenge: Day Nine

2016-01-10T04:55:42Z

In your own space, set some goals for the coming year. They can be fannish or not, public or private.

Thanks to the Snowflake Challenge, I already have a slew of goals for 2016:

* To participate successfully (meaning NO DEFAULTS!) in 5 fanfic challenges, including at least one Big Bang.

* To fill a prompt on a kink meme, which I have never done.

* To finish the 3 WIPs I’ve been aimlessly picking away at for months.

* To make a fannish post to DW/LJ once a week, which may occasionally include rec posts.

* To do a fannish craft project. My plan is to make a Supernatural-themed altered Altoid tin.

* To leave comments more often on AO3, DW & LJ.

As you can see, I’m recommitting to participating in fandom!

And, IRL, to practice better self care and to begin exercising again.

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Ante Up: The Losers Fanwork Exchange Dear Creator Letter Placeholder

2016-01-10T04:33:03Z

( Click for letter )

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